Monday, March 24, 2008

BOURNEMOUTH O.A.P. PERSONALS


"Senior" personal ads seen in the Dorset press (Who says O.A.P.'s don't have a sense of humour?):
FOXY LADY:Sexy, fashion-conscious blue-haired beauty, 80's, slim, 5'4" (used to be 5'6"), searching for sharp-looking, sharp-dressing companion. Matching white shoes and belt a plus.
LONG-TERM COMMITMENT:Recent widow who has just buried fourth husband, and am looking for someone to round out a six-unit plot. Dizziness, fainting, shortness of breath not a problem.
SERENITY NOW:I am into solitude, long walks, sunrises, the ocean, yoga and meditation. If you are the silent type, let's get together, take our hearing aids out and enjoy quiet times.
WINNING SMILE:Active grandmother with original teeth seeking a dedicated flosser to share rare steaks, corn on the cob and Bournemouth rock.
BEATLES OR STONES?I still like to rock, still like to cruise in my Hillman Imp on Saturday nights and still like to play the guitar. If you were a groovy chick, or are now a groovy hen, let's get together and listen to my eight-track tapes.
MEMORIES:I can usually remember Monday through Thursday. If you can remember Friday, Saturday and Sunday, let's put our two heads together.
MINT CONDITION:Male, 1932, high mileage, good condition, some hair, many new parts including hip, knee, cornea, valves. Isn't in running condition , but walks well.

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