Women's Language Translated

1. Yes = No
2. No = Yes
3. Maybe = No
4. We need = I want
5. I am sorry = you'll be sorry
6. We need to talk = you're in trouble

7. Sure, go ahead = you better not
8. Do what you want = you will pay for this later
9. I am not upset = of course I am upset, you moron!
10. It's your decision = The correct decision should be obvious by now
11. You're ... so manly = You need a shave, you smell and you sweat a lot
12. You're certainly attentive tonight = Is sex all you ever think about?
13. I'm tired = You can forg et thinking about that sex anymore
14. Be romantic, turn out the lights = You're not seeing my flabby thighs
15. The kitchen is so convenient = I want a new kitchen or, better still, a new house
16. Do you love me? = I’m going to ask for something expensive.
17. How much do you love me? = I did something today you’re really not going to like.
18. I’ll be ready in a minute = Kick off your shoes and find a good game on TV.
19. Am I fat? = You'd better tell me I’m beautiful.
20. We need to learn to communicate. = Just agree with me.
21. Was that the baby? = You get out of bed and check on the baby.
22. I'm not shouting! = Yes I am shouting because I think this is important.