The Most Stupid Goalkeeper Ever

In Pictures: Leicester City 2 Cardiff City 1

The Ecstasy and The Agony

Watch this goalkeeper celebrate scoring and then sees what happens to him within 30 seconds!

The Human Toilet

Stjarnan, who recently brought the fish being caught goal celebration to the world, are at it again. Training must be hard work there! :>)

On the'ead missus!

This took place last week on German Sky Sports

With the transfer window closed, don't forget Harry Redknapp's NOT a wheeler dealer

As he told Sky last weekend ... he is though! :>)

The Most Obvious Handball and Penalty Ever

The 90 Yard Goal

Good effort!

Friendly: CARDIFF CITY 0 Deportivo La Coruna 1 - match report

I’m not ready for this, I still haven’t got over Wembley and those B words … Bloody Blackpool. And the Summeris Horribilis at Cardiff City fires nobody with enthusiasm and passion to get going again but here we are, still in July (but a cloudy Cardiff day) heading to CCS to watch City take on one time Spanish wonders Deportivo La Coruna.

And what a dreadful summer it’s been, the only comfort is that finally (I hope) we have investors looking to run the club as a viable business but that means a sorry mess for the time being as they attempt to unravel the untold damage caused by and Messrs Hammam and Ridsdale. When I saw certain noteworthy fans (and the usual suspects) were meeting Hammam and laughably drumming up support for him to re-enter the club, it was one of the few times in my life I seriously questioned why I bother with City. How desparate.

To date, a number of deadbeats have gone (half of whom should never have been here in the first place – yes, I mean you Feeney!) and the local hero left midst acrimony as Joe Ledley opted for instant riches - and no compensation for his hometown club – and forgot what he really wanted was Premier League football – as he joined Celtic. Their Champions League embarrassment and imminent exit before the season starts does feel like good karma but best wishes Joe and thanks. Others may want to leave (Chopra) or may yet leave (if the club are offered enough cash upfront).

The tax man is owned money, Sunderland are owed money, Charlton are owed money, Motherwell are owed money, former and current players are owed money so City find themselves under transfer embargo unable to sign anyone, unable to confirm new contracts for existing players. I’d far prefer it if the embargo just meant that we weren’t allowed to play Mark Hudson until Charlton were paid off. However City are now able to play Man U loan man Danny Drinkwater simply because the squad is below 20 players.

It’s unhealthy but it’s clear to see why the Malaysians need and deserve time to undo the endless wrongs. We may have to accept patience and consolidation for a while but, nevertheless, the football side cannot be neglected in the meantime as the club is nothing without that.

Canton pubs quiet pre-game, plenty of pavement room walking to the ground and the club not announcing the attendance were all give away clues of a crowd of 5,000 or less (hard to tell what it was from my seat) with Ali booming out his usual request to make some noiiiissssseeee met only by muted responses and seagulls circling.

Jay Bothroyd has missed most of pre-season but declared his readiness 24 hours earlier yet he was absent again, a worry with the season 8 days away for such a pivotal player. For most City fans, it was the first sightings of the shaven headed Drinkwater who impressed in patches (but still needs to learn how to ayatollah – just resting your hands on your head isn’t quite right Danny!) but, the question was, who was the tall Jason Fowler left back lookalike?

Thanks to mobile phone technology, we soon discovered it Toni Kallio (a 32 yr old Swiss player just released by Fulham who played 8 times for Sheff Utd last season on loan – was he Swiss Toni??). The player showed a couple of decent touches but was either well off the pace or had no pace (I suspect it was the latter) and was caught out quite easily.

City’s first half side was Marshall; McNaughton-Blake-Hudson-Kollio; Burke-Rae-Drinkwater-Whittingham; Chopra-McCormack.

For the opening segment, they acquitted themselves well. Competent at the back, Rae and Drinkwater doing well in the middle and a bit of zip up front. The Spaniards, rather predictably, liked to have the ball, pass it around without great purpose at times as long as they kept and bided their time for openings. City tended to be a touch more direct and break and that nearly produced the opener as Ross McCormack was clear but never quite looked confident enough and sent his effort bouncing narrowly wide.

The pattern of the game established from the start, the only thing that really changed after the midway point of the first half was a drop in pace and intensity, typical pre-season fayre so, sure enough, we got to the interval without either keeper having a single piece of work to do other than the odd goal kick. The only mild entertainment was the “Los Herculinos” keeper doing passable sounding impressions of cartoon character Mexican Roadrunner as he barked occasional instructions to his team-mates. Anyone got a pillow?

Half-time: Cardiff City 0 Deportivo La Coruna 0

Half-time talking point amongst the faithful was the catering and beer prices being put up again. £3.30 for a pint FFS, £2.60 for a Clarks Pie. That’s enough to ensure I’ll wait until after the game unless gasping during the season. When the newly approved pub is built outside, I’m quite sure several of our flock will leave at the interval and head there for a drink instead.

The teams returned for the 2^nd half with City changing Marshall for the ultra vocal Tom Heaton (quiet Tom, some of us were trying to snooze as the sun came out and glowed on us) while triallist Kallio must have got three X’s from the judges and the next audition contestant was sent on.

We now had Gregory Vignal (29 year old Frenchman who has been a bit part player in the past few years for Liverpool, Rangers, Southampton, Portsmouth and Birmingham for whom he started 6 times in the Premier League last season). Vignal was short enough to be a City defender and passed out of defence well, he also got forward more than Kallio but was also caught out at the back. In truth, neither player really impressed but Vignal likely edged it.

The game was now at complete stalemate with Cardiff with neither side really creating anything but the Spaniards getting a couple more shots in (but wide) while a procession of changes took the last remaining flow out of the contest. Over the next half hour, City also introduced Gerrard, Gyepes, Matthews and latest Academy prospect Nat Jarvis.

City fans were now just chatting amongst themselves paying scant attention to proceedings on the pitch but out of the blue, the Spaniards pinched a win in the final 7 minutes with a very well worked goal in which City’s defence were carved wide open.

The one big name in Depotivo’s team, Juan Carlos Valeron, has come on as a late sub and immediately made impact as his pass found City (and Vignal) nowhere on the left, three lightning passes saw Caleron in front of goal and certain to score yet he laid it across goal for another sub, DIONI, to do that at the far post instead.

Some City fans headed for the exits (it wasn’t to beat the crowd away) while those who stayed on saw City almost level it as a cross from the left (Vignal?) evade two defenders in the middle and fall perfectly for Jervis (serenaded by some fans with ‘Are you Bothroyd in disguise?’) but he wasn’t expecting to get it, the ball hitting his shin and then side netting.

That, thankfully, ended City’s worst pre-season for many years. Hapless was not the word. Having to arrange a camp and friendly last-minute in Portugal after the Malaysian tour fell though, City did beat Bath City in the opener but promptly lost everything else.

Next week, we’re off again with a tough home opener on Sky to Sheffield United and fears of a rough old season could be founded even if Cardiff are effectively only Ledley (and, arguably) Kennedy down on last season’s team which was good enough to be at the top end all season.

It’s clear City still need cover for Jay, a central midfielder of some substance and a left back for starters.

They may yet have to accept having none of those at all.

Cardiff City 0 Deportivo La Coruna 1 in pictures

Hells Bells - Bellamy contemplates playing for Cardiff City

It may be a story with more talk than reality but Cardiff City's aim to somehow bring Craig Bellamy to the club had a touch more realism about it as the player himself told BBC that if Manchester City do not wish to keep him, he does not wish to consider another club in England or Europe and becuase his family live in Cardiff, it would limit his next move to only one place.

It seems incredulous Bellamy, after a stunning Premiership season, would want to drop to the Championship with Cardiff but he has fallen out with the manager (Mancini) and with a couple of the Board members too so there is repair work to be done.

Cardiff could not afford a transfer fee or Bellamy's wages so any move despends solely on it somehow being a loan or Bellamy managing to sever his contract.

I still think he will resolve his problems at Manchester City and probably last longer than Mancini anyway but jhis quotes today will spark another round of gossip and, in South Wales, mild excitement.

Fight - it's a Danish goal celebration

How football drives managers mental

What a tackle!

Bye bye Robinho

Now that's an assist

He's taking the p***

Former Arsenal keeper Jans Lehamn leaves the pitch dueing a Champions League game for Stuttgart against Unirea to have a pee!

Skill of the Week (at Bellamy's expense)

Meet One of the Potential City Investors

The Dom Joly lookielikie above is Ben Steele and if this mysterious fella is a potential saviour of Cardiff City, then I guess we really are in trouble.

Little is known of Steele other than he is a 32 year old married man with two children. He arrived on the Isle of Guernsey two years ago having apparently made himself a millionaire by selling cars. He is now described as a 'property developer' - aren't they all when they have money? - in a partnership.

There are unsubstantiated claims that he may be worth up to £35 million but even if he is, that won't scratch the surface of Cardiff's problems and enable progression.

Steele hit the football headlines in April of last year when his property developing partner and keen local cricketer, Quentin Hubbard, arrived at St. Mary's in jeans, chinos and with a duffel bag to attempt a rescue of Southampton. They disappeared almost as instantly as they arrived.

Nine months on, Cardiff have problems and up pops Mr Steele again. He's obviously an appetite for ailing clubs and he's talking the talk claiming that he has met Peter Ridsdale a few times and that Publicity Pete popped over to hold held some of these meetings on Guernsey.

Steele wants it to be known on the Island that he's up for it, declaring, "I’ve been talking about making an investment or buying the whole club. Hopefully, we’ll get something agreed and we’re in the process of starting due diligence. We’ve got lawyers lined up ready and we’ve got the money ready."

You decide if you should be hopeful or worreid about this. I certainly know where I stand.

F.A. Cup Round 3: Bristol City 1 CARDIFF CITY 1 match report

Thirteen shots each, six on target each but, most of all, one goal each means Cardiff City and Bristol City have to do it all over again in the F.A. Cup Third Round. The replay will be next Tuesday night at the Cardiff City stadium, winners play at home to Leicester City 4 days later for a place in the last 16 but it's Cardiff who will be kicking themselves as yet again, they conceded a last minute goal instead of holding on for victory,thje Wurzles scorer of all people, being a Cardiff City fan!

In poor conditions, blizzard style snow falling throughout and the pitch looking more like a sheet of blank A4 paper with the odd green blotch, Cardiff acquitted themselves well in an undistinguished game but never looked like breaking through in the final third until Michael Chopra (orShopra if the F.A. commentator was to be believed) finished sublimely with 12 minutes left. That appeared to be it until Gavin Williams fired home well in the 3rd of 4 added minutes with City's defence and midfield stopped still. It denied Cardiff their first victory at Trashton Gate in 40 years.

City had another patched up side with Jay Bothroyd still ill (his temperature has gone up from 101 to 102 by all account), Josh Magennis recovering from his broken leg and Chris Burke nursed a bruised (or is it cracked?) rib and Paul Quinn was taken ill with a virus in the afternoon. In came AaronWildig , the 17 year old having a full debut and Adam Matthews (the player subject to more talk of an imminent Premiership move is 18 tomorrow), and back came Michael Chopra who wasmysteriously overlooked on Saturday. City were only able to name 6 subs and one of them was an unknown Academy player. The real shock however was Dave Jones having a rare thought and opting to disband his routine 4-4-2 for 4-3-1-2.

Cardiff: Marshall; Matthews-Gerrard-Hudson-McNaughton; Wildig-Rae-Ledley; Whittingham; McCormack-Chopra. Subs were Enckleman-Taiwo-Gyepes-Meades-Blake-Feeney.

The Wurzels came into the game still talking about making uip for a 3-0 smarting at Cardiff early season, that score flattered them, but were also seeking form and fitness having slipped to12th in the Championship, not playing for a fortnight due to the snow and ice, without a win in 5 and without a home win since mid-October although they have only been beaten once at "Trashton" Gate this season.

The suspended Nyatanga excepted, the Robins were at full strength with Gerken; Orr-Fontaine-Carey-McAllister; Elliott-Hartley-Skuse-Clarkson; Maynard-Haynes. The appropriately named Sno was on the bench.

The crowd was a meagre 7,218 - many opting to watch the game streamed live on the F.A.'s own website or on Welsh language channel S4C - but a commendable 1,800 Bluebirds made the trip. It was a ''bubble trip' and stories have it that a couple of coaches from the valleys got stuck and never made it while others were late.

To be honest, they didn't miss much in the first half. The game was made possible by covers and blowers and the home side seemed determined to reward the effort by pressing Cardiff from the off, City surviving an early escape as Carey's header from a corner cannoned off a post.

Having rode the (snow) storm, Cardiff rallied well and played the better football of the sides albeit there was little to get excited about in a game clearly affected by worsening conditions. For all their passing and movement, City's game was breaking down in the final third but chances came with a lively Chops firing wide and a promisingWildig almost having a debut goal as his chipped 30 yard shot catching Gerken off his line after a botched kick sailed inches over an unguarded net. Gavin Rae, looking off the pace, went off injured after half-hour leaving Dave Jones to turn to SolomonTaiwo but he went on to produce a promising and assured performance, shame that Dave Jones revealed after the game that he is off on loan to Colchester United.

Set pieces were better than usual, McCormack - clearly still to regain full match fitness - put one effort narrowly while while AnthonyGerrard, of all players, was allowed to take one, his thundered effort bouncing off Gerken with Chops almost profiting on the rebound.

The snow got heavier, the pitch was move covered and the ball was less often running true and getting held up. Ice and snow was forming on the ball which had to be bounced before throw-ins and corners. There were doubts that the game would continue but the snow fortunately eased enough to see the game through.

Half-time: Wurzles 0 Cardiff 0

It was farce football, the match ball even bursting at one point. Credit to both teams for battling it out but chances and tellingmoments were few and far between. Bristol cracked a couple of long range efforts, none on target while Cardiff were closer as Gerrard's header on a corner was smothered on the line by Gerken whilst McCormack shot weakly with another goalmouth scramble, a clean connection would have netted.

Warren Feeney replaced Ross for the final 20 and out himself about but two shooting chances produced weak efforts but his persistence paid off with 12 minutes to go as he forlornly chased a Peter Whittingham long ball, Gerken raced out of his box but fluffed his kick. Even so, the finish by MICHAEL CHOPRA was sublime, firing from the touchline over Gerken's head and clean into goal from the tightest of angles. A bizarre incident followed as Chops ran up the touchline to celebrate whereBrizzle boss Gary Johnson purposely put a leg out to trip him, Chops reacted by shoving him in the chest.

It looked game over for Bristol until more last minute agony as a cross was screwed back, City's defenders and midfielders watched on in the box and in came Gavin Williams, sub and Cardiff fan, to drill an effort back across goal that tucked inside Marshall's far post. Unbelievable.

City acquitted themselves well and, on balance, would have deserved their win in a low thrills game dictated by conditions. Every man played their part, only Rae and McCormack were not quite at the races. Good effort boys, hope it produces its reward next week.